Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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