Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
