My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
