I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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