Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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