In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
