I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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