yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
