just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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