why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
