I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
