dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
