Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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