But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
