Pappa wants mamma naked
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
