Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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