So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
