U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he quoted the bible to break up with me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
His nipple licking is glorious
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
