You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
