we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
