I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
