I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
