its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
