Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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