So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
