So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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