drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
