she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
