What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
