a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
