I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Ladies don't puke and tell
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
