I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm always down for nudity.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
