Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
