You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
