Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
