You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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