I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
