Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
