hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
