She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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