Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
