So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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