so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
