Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
