I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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