You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
