is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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