I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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