So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
