Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
