I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
