He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
